The Winners Mindset
So what does being a WINNER actually mean??
Here’s what the online dictionary says:
Definition of WINNER
: one that wins: as
a : one that is successful especially through praiseworthy ability and hard work
b : a victor especially in games and sports
c : one that wins admiration
d : a shot in a court game that is not returned and that scores for the player making it.”
Why is it we want to be winners? According to the definition, it’s to gain admiration perhaps from our partners, our peers or family. But I’m convinced it’s deeper than that…..And success means something different to everyone.
The other thing that really strikes me is how can we all win?? I hate the idea of someone winning at the expense of someone losing. So how can we all win?
Originally, winning came from our survival instinct.
Back in the day when we lived naked in caves wearing nothing more than a buffalo skin g-string and a hyena shoulder throw, hunting down a gazelle to feed the family took all day and they ate all night.
Today, just being able to have enough time to cook something that is actually edible, for me is a great success.
Here’s another thing: often I hear the same story over and over again. We put the needs of others ahead of ourselves, or we focus on THINGS rather than our own personal goals that help us get clarity around who we are, what we’re here to do, what we stand for, what we value and how we let people treat us.
So my question to you is: you’ve probably set goals for your loan repayments, or the out of school education for your kids, but when did you set real tangible goals just for you?
What is your marker of success? Do you actually have one? Have you ever considered that if you have no marker of success to work towards that perhaps you are living your life by default, like living in an eternal hamster wheel that goes on and on? Or perhaps you’re living a life in a constant state of ‘reaction’ – like a tiny boat in a big ocean, getting thrown around by a bunch of waves?
For me, a marker of success is a goal. Chances are if you don’t have a goal you are bobbing around in the tidal activity of life being influenced by the ebb and flow with no sign of land and not even a life preserver within reach. You get to a situation where if things happen, your cave dweller instinct encourages you to react. You have no forward planning and no preparation and in my own experience, go from drama to drama. This is the opposite of a winner. You become the sort of person who uses terms like: ‘once this happens I will be able to….’ Or ‘ It’s just not fair, I never seem to get a break….’ Or another favourite ‘yeah, well it’s alright for you but how do you think I feel? That never happens to me……’ And ‘She’s just one of those lucky people.’
Nope. That’s all rubbish loser talk and the more you say it, the more you confirm it mentally and emotionally to yourself and those around you. It’s the polar opposite of an affirmation and does just as much damage as an affirmation does good. Honestly, people start to switch off and behind your back they call you a moaner. Just saying…..
Here’s a great example of a winners mindset.
This was my lash lady Paula.
Paula is wife, a mother and a business owner. At the end of 2014, she decided to make some changes in her life and set new goals for herself.
Her piece of advice when you’re trying to set a goal or struggling to reach it is to ‘know and remember your WHY. Why do you want it? That is what will get you through when the motivation has vanished…..’
For Paula, being able to run around at the park and play with her kids was a big part of her WHY and remembering her WHY even in the face of challenges has resulted in her shedding more than 30 kg’s in weight!
Paula: your journey is an inspiration and I’m so proud of everything you’ve done to find your way to happy! You truly are AMAZING!
If your marker of success is to have more money, is 50 cents enough for you to feel the feeling of being a winner? Interestingly enough, for some people that’s enough to flick the switch to success as every 50 cents counts Get specific and when you get your goal, celebrate every delicious second. Then set your marker again.
I know, it sounds pretty basic right? But so many people I talk to (and I talk to a LOT of people) are doing just as I said earlier – bobbing around in the water reacting to all that life throws at them. From every case study I’ve looked at, Winners have clear defined boundaries and goals in many areas of their life. FYI: I like to think of boundaries as ‘levels of acceptability’. When you have a boundary, people know where you stand, or what you stand for and understand the acceptable level of how you want to be treated. Everything is up front and everybody wins.
So here’s some homework: Look at the different areas of your life that are important to you and ask yourself honestly:
- What is my marker of success?
- Do I have one?
- Am I at that mark?
- Can I make one change today to get a step closer to that marker?
- Now you’re thinking like a winner.
Be prepared to dream big and take a step a day toward that dream. It’s actually easier than you think…once you start to dream.
And here’s some tips from my Facebook connections: